This morning when I opened my eyes I knew it was gonna be a rough one. I mentally scanned my body to see what would hurt the most today. I started with my head. It was no surprise to me when I realized I had a pounding headache, as waking up with these happens often. Take Tylenol; check. I proceeded. The next thing I noticed was my throat pain. I've had a consistent throat ache for a little over three months now, so I was expecting the sharpness and irritation to be bad when I woke up. More Tylenol and lots of Benadryl; check. I proceeded to my stomach. As usual, it felt like it was in knots. Symax; check. I then realized my hands were swollen and hurting. Usually around spring time this happens due to weather change and humidity in the air so I wasn't too freaked out by that. Celebrex; check. That medicine would be good too, for the rest of the aches and pains I felt in my back, legs, shoulders, and everything else in my body. I laid in bed for a while staring at the cieling trying to find the energy and motivation to get up. I looked at the clock, it was already noon. I hated how long I slept in. Unfortunately it was necessary as I drifted off around 3 am and had a restless night of sleep. Most nights sleep doesn't come easy, and when it does, my body still doesn't feel rested. Some days I get a full 10 hours and I wake up feeling like I got hit by a bus. After about an hour of trying to wake my body up, I willed myself out of bed. Sometimes it takes a lot more encouragement and force from my mom, but today I got up on my own. Ehlers Danlos Syndrome is rarely understood by someone who doesn't have it. Even though I look fine today, this was how my body felt when I woke up and for the most part still feels this way now. The truth is, EDS is the perfect example of what we all go through everyday. We all have pain and struggles on the inside that no one else can see. It's hard to understand what someone else is going through when you're not going through the same thing yourself. It's easy to look fine, but not be fine. However, the more I have been able to be vulnerable about how I feel, the more I've been able to realize that no one is ever going to perfectly understand me, because they are not me. And the more I realize that, the more I realize I need something bigger than another person. I need someone all-knowing, and that is where I find that I need God, just as we all do.
"Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit." -Psalm 147:5