Today this verse is speaking to me loudly. I have felt as if I am drowning in my weaknesses lately. I feel like I have these burdens that I'm constantly asking God to take away. School feels like a burden. My grandpa being so sick feels like a burden. My constant tiredness and chronic pain feels like a burden. Having to cancel my trip to California seems like a burden. I'm overwhelmed, I'm tired, I want a break.
I am constantly asking "why, God?" "Why me?" "I'm a good girl!" "Can you take away the bad stuff?" "Please?" Sometimes I feel like there's no response.
But then I remember this verse. HE said to ME, my grace is sufficient. My power is made PERFECT in WEAKNESS. He said that.
I hear that, yet some days I still find myself drowning in weaknesses, trying to cover them up the best I can so no one will see. I want people to think I'm doing great 24/7. I want to have a life people want. I don't want to be "weak," yet scripture says I'm supposed to take pride in my struggle...
It seems like a weird concept to boast about weaknesses. We are taught at a young age to be a "strong" people. Be brave. Be fearless. Be independent. Don't show weakness. Don't let them catch you when you're down!
The problem with this is this is not realistic. Not one of us is 100% fearless or 100% brave. We can't be. We're not perfect. We all have flaws, baggage, fearful thoughts; some shown more outwardly, others hidden deep within.
What would it be like if we all started boasting about our weaknesses? What if we were proud of our struggles? What if we used our hardships to illuminate something that's bigger than ourselves, something that everyone needs?
I think this verse is a call to be honest with ourselves and with each other. I talk about my struggles with my health, my anxiety, and everything else because they are true. My shared thoughts on my pain is raw, reflective, and real.
If we were made to hide our weaknesses, we would have none. Without fear, we wouldn't know bravery. Without mourning, we wouldn't know joy. Without struggles, we wouldn't know triumphs.
"For when I am weak, then I am strong." What a crazy, yet accurate concept. In what feels like my weakest moments, I find even the slightest bit of strength, and that's no coincidence. I will continue to delight in my hardships. I will use my difficulties to reflect God because at the end of the day He is the one who is bringing me strength, perseverance, and wisdom. Because I am weak, I become strong. Take ahold of my weaknesses, I am not ashamed. I have been made strong through what tries to rob me of that exact same strength.