There are a lot of topics I'm excited to discuss in my blog and a lot I want to share about my life, but today something I want to talk about is being thankful. When I first moved into my dorm at Ohio State, I was extremely excited to be on my own for the first time. My roomie seriously rocks and we got assigned to one of the nicer dorms on campus. The first two weeks of school went great, but after just 14 days EDS began to rear its ugly head. My first semester came with a multitude of issues; a bad reaction to one of my medicines that shut down my central nervous system, an irritated nerve in my arm, a flare up in the herniated disc in my spine, chronic migraines, dizziness, daily stomach pains, and fatigue (which ironically could not be helped with sleep because my joint discomfort and other pains kept me from sleeping). In the midst of all of these issues I was trying to "do college." I was taking classes, going to Young Life events, and trying to spend time with my boyfriend and friends all while inconsistently migrating back and forth from campus to my parents house just about 25-30 minutes away. When I was at school, my anxiety was high as I dealt with daily health problems sometimes forcing me to stay in bed or hitch a ride to class with a friend because I couldn't walk. When my health got so bad I had to go home, I missed my friends and was constantly stressed about missing class and Young Life events that I had been excited for. Eventually winter break rolled around and while I expected it to be a time of rest and recovery, I still struggled with trying to feel better. A few days before I was supposed to move back into my dorm for second semester, I ended up in the ER with a severe case of the flu, a throat infection and an ear infection. For someone with a body as weak as mine getting through these kinds of illnesses is a struggle. I missed the entire first week of classes and missed out on reuniting with all my friends as they enjoyed things like going to Young Life and watching the National Championship together on campus (go bucks am I right?). I began recovering from the flu and infection, but now I am struggling as my acid reflux has completely taken over my throat and stomach causing me severe discomfort. The past month for me has been a time of darkness, where I have felt that I'm stuck in a deep hole that always caves in every time I almost make it out. It has been exhausting physically, and especially mentally as my anxiety disorder has been at an all time high. The more sick I am the worse my anxiety is, and the worse my anxiety is the more sick I get. It is a vicious cycle. At this point in life I am about ready to give up, but instead I have decided to give thanks. Today I made it to class for the first time this semester, and even though I only made it to one, boy did I enjoy it. When you go through struggles you start to appreciate things you never would have before. Usually, I would say "ugh, class is the worst." But today, I enjoyed having the opportunity to sit in my class and learn some knowledge! God has provided for me in such big ways with a loving, supporting family who can afford to send me to school and who are always willing to drive me to campus when I'm not feeling well enough to drive myself. Even though I wish I could be back in my dorm already, I was able to even make it to campus today and that's something to be thankful for! Yesterday I was able to attend First Year, an event for Young Life that allows freshmen in college to prepare to be Young Life leaders in a few short months. Even though I still did not feel very well, I got to walk into a room full of 70+ people who love me and care about me, and for that I am so thankful! I think at times it is easiest for me to look on the negative side of things and feel bad for myself. My boyfriend, Taylor, is constantly reminding me to look up in these types of situations (man, am I thankful for him). I can almost guarantee in the past month I have called him crying at least once a day about being in pain or being stressed, and every single time he asks me to name off positive things that happened that day. Of course I am stubborn and resistant at first, but eventually I answer, and every time I find at least three positive things that I can be thankful for. I find when I thank God for all of the blessings He has given me each day, my mental, physical, and spiritual health improve even if it's just the slightest. The truth is, we all have things to give thanks for. Whether it's the yummy ice cream you had today, the kindness of a friend or random stranger, or even just the fact that your legs were well enough to get out of bed this morning, BE THANKFUL. Take it from somebody who knows what it's like to feel like your world is caving in or there isn't any light at the end of the tunnel, if you always look up and give thanks, your days will never be joyless.
"Give thanks to the God of heaven. His love endures forever."
-Psalm 136:26
"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."
-John 1:5