I first started this blog in January 2015. And here we are, a year later. A lot has happened to me within the last year, and it all started out with a throat ache.
Last January I found myself in a unique situation. Yes, I was your typical freshman in college with one semester under my belt, but my "college experience" wasn't exactly what I had anticipated. At this point, we were two weeks into the second semester, yet my dorm room was now the house I grew up in, my classroom was my laptop, and my professor was my doctor. I spent my Friday nights- well.... all nights.... And days.... - in bed trying to find enough energy to send a simple text message. The time I would've spent drowning in homework was time spent drowning in anxiety. The "freshmen 15" was still the "freshmen 15" but instead of gaining pounds I lost them. My diet consisted of the only thing I could keep down, KFC mashed potatoes (lol I know). I saw my friends yes, if they came to my house and didn't mind being my couch potato companion. Date nights turned into, "so, which movie should we watch tonight?"
This time last year everything seemed impossible. I couldn't drive a car, couldn't walk more than the length of my driveway, couldn't even leave the house without feeling like I was gonna die. And all of it started with a trip to the ER because my throat hurt so bad.
Last January I found myself in a unique situation. Yes, I was your typical freshman in college with one semester under my belt, but my "college experience" wasn't exactly what I had anticipated. At this point, we were two weeks into the second semester, yet my dorm room was now the house I grew up in, my classroom was my laptop, and my professor was my doctor. I spent my Friday nights- well.... all nights.... And days.... - in bed trying to find enough energy to send a simple text message. The time I would've spent drowning in homework was time spent drowning in anxiety. The "freshmen 15" was still the "freshmen 15" but instead of gaining pounds I lost them. My diet consisted of the only thing I could keep down, KFC mashed potatoes (lol I know). I saw my friends yes, if they came to my house and didn't mind being my couch potato companion. Date nights turned into, "so, which movie should we watch tonight?"
This time last year everything seemed impossible. I couldn't drive a car, couldn't walk more than the length of my driveway, couldn't even leave the house without feeling like I was gonna die. And all of it started with a trip to the ER because my throat hurt so bad.
I came home from the ER diagnosed with a bad virus. Days went by and then weeks and then a month, and my throat was consistently swollen and painful. On top of that my stomach hurt always, and my normal day long body aches added to the mix. Doctors couldn't give me many answers, and when they did, their treatments didn't work. I was scared to be alone, scared to fall asleep, and scared to trust any of the "maybes" that were constantly thrown at me in attempts at a diagnosis.
Up to this point I had always struggled with health issues. I was diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS) 4 years prior, and had never truly experienced a pain free day. I knew at age 14 what life would look like for me; lots of doctors, therapy, medicine, rest, and overall caution for the rest of my life. Yet I had never felt so weak, so stuck, so helpless from sickness before last January.
It's a year later and I'm still getting over that throat ache that sent me to the ER. The slight sign of a cold means a week of pain sometimes worse than strep throat. Certain foods leave me SOL and my allergies have me pegged. On top of it, I'm still dealing with the everyday effects of my chronic pain disorder. But I'm so much better. So so much.
When people ask me how I'm feeling these days I hit them with the "I feel great, I feel like an actual person" quote. For so long I didn't feel like a person living life, but someone stuck in a dark pit unable to get out.
A year ago I never would have thought I would even be able to finish another full semester of college. I never would have thought I would be able to be a Young Life leader. A year ago I never would have thought I'd be able to ever move back to campus or have a social life or be able to eat three meals a day. I never would have thought I could have good days. Yet, here I am, one year later, able and living life and having good days, often.
If you think that you're life won't ever get better, know that it can. God heals, and He cares. He knew what He was doing long before I experienced one of the hardest years of my life. I cannot even remember the number of nights I asked Him to help me, and felt like He didn't hear me or care. But here I am, prayers answered, dumbfounded by His faithfulness in a time when I doubted that He could heal.
I still struggle everyday with health issues. I have a rare chronic pain disorder that I may not ever be healed from here on this earth. But this past year I was healed from many things, and I learned more in than I think I ever have before. Things that seemed impossible became possible, when I was patient and waited for God to work. He has worked, He will work, and He is working right now.
"Jesus replied, 'What is impossible with man is possible with God.'" -Luke 18:27
"Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me." -Psalm 30:2
"Be still and know that I am God." -Psalm 46:10
Up to this point I had always struggled with health issues. I was diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS) 4 years prior, and had never truly experienced a pain free day. I knew at age 14 what life would look like for me; lots of doctors, therapy, medicine, rest, and overall caution for the rest of my life. Yet I had never felt so weak, so stuck, so helpless from sickness before last January.
It's a year later and I'm still getting over that throat ache that sent me to the ER. The slight sign of a cold means a week of pain sometimes worse than strep throat. Certain foods leave me SOL and my allergies have me pegged. On top of it, I'm still dealing with the everyday effects of my chronic pain disorder. But I'm so much better. So so much.
When people ask me how I'm feeling these days I hit them with the "I feel great, I feel like an actual person" quote. For so long I didn't feel like a person living life, but someone stuck in a dark pit unable to get out.
A year ago I never would have thought I would even be able to finish another full semester of college. I never would have thought I would be able to be a Young Life leader. A year ago I never would have thought I'd be able to ever move back to campus or have a social life or be able to eat three meals a day. I never would have thought I could have good days. Yet, here I am, one year later, able and living life and having good days, often.
If you think that you're life won't ever get better, know that it can. God heals, and He cares. He knew what He was doing long before I experienced one of the hardest years of my life. I cannot even remember the number of nights I asked Him to help me, and felt like He didn't hear me or care. But here I am, prayers answered, dumbfounded by His faithfulness in a time when I doubted that He could heal.
I still struggle everyday with health issues. I have a rare chronic pain disorder that I may not ever be healed from here on this earth. But this past year I was healed from many things, and I learned more in than I think I ever have before. Things that seemed impossible became possible, when I was patient and waited for God to work. He has worked, He will work, and He is working right now.
"Jesus replied, 'What is impossible with man is possible with God.'" -Luke 18:27
"Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me." -Psalm 30:2
"Be still and know that I am God." -Psalm 46:10